Feedback on symbolic corporate cocktails

I got this email from NearlyWeds, one of my companies that does awesome wedding websites --

"we are sophisticated and complex, hence the reason for the difficult drink decision.  we would like to say to our customer that we are the veuve clicquot  type.  And we appreciate the widow very much, and do enjoy her beverage greatly.  day in and day out though, we are micro-brew sort of people.  we love a good handcrafted micro brew or monk-brewed belgian.  but if we were to celebrate after an acquisition or something, then we would probably skip the microbrew and enjoy a bourbon or scotch, or maybe even a bourbon drink like a bourbon sidecar.  our customers are sophisticated, so are we.  you don't wear the same clothes everyday, why would you drink the same drink for all occasions.  

and just like brides, we love to be difficult about simple questions."